too tired again

All my energy is going to work right now. Wanting to finish this paper before I start chemo, and there are a few more days of thinking and writing ahead. Not helped by my attention span problem. The longer I go without knowing the plan, the more I obsessively check my HIPAA-compliant health care e-mail messaging portal.

I’ve been writing a new longer essay in my head since Saturday, but I’m not in the mood right now.

Instead I half-watched The Bachelorette, made dinner, and read Twitter.

There are some other cool women in their 30s talking about their cancer and their own academic / ethic / politics on the internet and I am grateful for it.

e.g. Teva Harrison

Particularly on being an atheist with cancer.

And also e.g. Chelsea Hauge, who showed up in my feedly a while ago on Professor Is In.

Particularly on “Is this a performance?”

I guess I could use my real identity here, like Teva and Chelsea, maybe eventually when I start to look like I’m on chemo. But then again, I’m concerned about linking chronic illness with my name on the internet. The academic job market is unforgiving.

Not quite fearless enough yet.

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